I have always struggled with religion. I wasn't brought up in church, I never really knew much about the bible, God, or Jesus. Aaron was kind of brought up in a baptist church, but it was pretty touch and go. We had always said that we wanted to get into church and be stronger in faith before we had children so that we could lead our children in the right path. Well that time came and went, and we still aren't much further than we started.
We started going to church when Lucas was first born. We eventually had to stop going because he wouldn't sit through service anymore and they didn't have a nursery. We always felt like better people after we left church, but not necessarily stronger in faith. I don't know why this is. Maybe we felt like we were doing what we are "supposed" to do, therefore making us feel like better people.
I continue to struggle with what to believe. My struggle has always been between what science proves, and what religion(the bible) tells us. I've always wanted to believe in God, but haven't ever whole-heartedly been there.
I've had a few people tell me now that science can and does back up religion, not necessarily dis-prove it. So I am going to start devoting myself to finding these answers for myself. If anyone has any information, reading suggestions, etc. to help me on my way I would appreciate it. My friend Lauren has suggested a book which I plan to read.
Another friend (who shall remain nameless because I'm not sure what she wants to be public knowledge) has introduced me to Spiritual Agnosticism. This intrigues me with where I am right now. Spiritual Agnosticism is more about believing that there could be a higher power out there, but it cannot be absolutely proven or disproven. There may or may not be a God, there may or may not be a heaven and hell, an afterlife, etc. The one thing I don't agree with is that Spiritual Agnosticism says none of it matters. "It doesn't matter what religion you call yourself a follower of, nor does it matter whether or not you believe in God. What matters is what you do, not what you believe." Well, that just isn't good enough for me. I want answers. I'm not ok with it not mattering because it is such a big deal to so many people. I want the truth behind it all.
Another friend of mine doesn't know if she believes in God, but she knows she has morals. She knows what is right and wrong, and what morals she wants to pass on to her children. This site says, "Rather than following the ethics of religion out of a fear of God, spiritual agnostics follow the same moral values for the purpose of reaping, giving, and sharing the rewards in this life time." Now that I can see, which also brings me to another point.
Why are we to FEAR God? Why would you fear something that is supposed to be your creator, the being you put above everything else? Why are there such catastrophic consequences for our actions like the flood and the yet to be determined Armageddon? Why would something that loves us so much do that to us? We have to live perfect lives so that we aren't set ablaze? Ok ok, so Jesus died for our sins, but that apparently wasn't good enough since he is going to set us all on fire! Maybe this is where science comes back into play. With global warming, maybe the earth will actually catch on fire one day, but whose to say that is God's doing?
As you can all clearly see, I have a lot of work on my plate if I'm ever going to be satisfied with all this. I've felt the same way for so many years, so who knows how long it will take me. I need to figure out something somewhat soon though because I'm going to have to talk to Lucas about this sooner or later.
Once again, if anyone has reading suggestions, please pass them on.
2 comments:
There are a lot of interpretations of Revelations. There's a pretty good fiction series called Left Behind that is about the apocalypse and second coming of Jesus Christ. It is fiction (obviously since it hasn't happened yet) but but has some good views and interpretations - I think - about why and how God does it.
A lot of people really like 'Mere Christianity' by CS Lewis. He starts out trying to disprove it and ends up believing. I couldn't get into it myself, though.
As for the whole science debate, here's my take: I'm a science geek, I believe the dating methods and evolution is a fact. But none of that means that it conflicts with Christianity in any way; we just haven't figured out how the pieces fit together, and we probably never will. And I don't care. Right off the top of my head, I can think of multiple ways that the creation/evolution of human debate could be resolved with no one being 'wrong'. And that's just my teeny, tiny human brain. God can do anything, right? If someone thinks something can't have happened because they can't figure out how, they are pretty deluded, in my opinion. Also extremely arrogant.
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